ohhh how i forgotten

i forget how i used to love writing
way before typing is our specialty

i used to write things that pleases me
write to my friends
in those cute little papers

write down those sweetest text i got

all because i know then
and i know now

thats the only way
that our conversation can be permanent
thats how people touches my heart
sincerity can always be felt
by their writings

but now
i cant even find the strength to type
what more writing
i know
excuses
i am just pure lazy

okay stop blabbering about my lingering thought about writing

lately
i felt burden
by my new position at work
eventhough it is just my 1st week
i really feel like i cant handle it

so much i will forego if i wanna do this
i dont know how to be more efficient
and still have energy for my family and friends after work

im sacrificing my holiday my weekend
is it worth it?

i know it will be worth it
i cant wait to take long holidays next year
long long ones

1 month work 1 month off then 1 month work then off again
wow wow wow

im scared because of the things i dont know
im scared for my future
im scared if im not yet ready

i know all this feeling are those i have to face to matter what
and just do it and be done with it

tomorrow will come
the day will come
it always does

only lately i felt good being taken care of

Dear God,
please give me someone that will take care of me
treat me well
adores me
always will smile at me
talk softly to me

but not only that
the one that can correct me when im wrong too
the one that always will give me the best advise
when im doing something wrong he will correct me
but in a way that i know it is for my best

**

this time after came back from kl
i admit that something have change
for the better i hope

im now more patient
im now more relax
im now more independent
im now open to other peoples idea

because i realized the old me
was not the only me i wanna be

i want to cherish the friends i have now
i want to cherish every little moments i can

it might sound petty
but i have waited for for way too long
leaving in shadow
healing in my own way
through my darkest path
no more

i wanna stay in the light
i wanna be bright
i wanna smile and make people happy

in a way i can be happy too
its a priceless feeling i guess

L o V e